1. If you're in the left lane, and everybody's passing you on the right, that means you need to get the Fuck out of the left lane, genius.
2. If you stop to talk in the store, get your fat ass out of the middle of the aisle. If you don't, and someone politely says, "Excuse me" to get through, you have no right to look at them like they just shit in your coffee.
3. Walk on the right side of the aisle. Works like a charm, just like they taught you in kindergarten.
4. If you're stuck in a line of cars behind someone who needs to read rule number one above, but you're not the poor slob right behind the asshole, tailgating, flashing your high-beams, hitting the horn or giving the finger will not help. The poor slob that's in front of you can't go any faster than the shithead in front of him. Chill the Fuck out.
5. Hang the Fuck up and drive.
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