Joke Of The Day

Jury


A man was chosen for jury duty who really wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could approach the bench.

"Your Honor," he said, "I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I said 'He's a crook! He's guilty!' So, your Honor, I cannot possibly stay on this jury!"

With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box, you fool. That man is the defendant's lawyer."

Joke of the Day

Mr and Mrs Mouse lived deep in the jungle.
One day Mrs Mouse went off to visit her sister on the other side of the jungle, leaving Mr.Mouse all alone.
Mr. Mouse became more and more randy, and by half way through the second week he could stand it no longer and decided that he was going to go out into the jungle and shag the first thing he came across.
As he stepped outside his front door he came across an elephant. "Right, that's it!" He mumbled to himself and promptly climbed up its tail, undid his trousers, and began pounding away for all he was worth.
Two monkeys sat in a tree above noticed the mouse having sex with the elephant.
"Look at that dirty little bastard!" Said the first monkey.
"Sick little rodent." Replied the second, reaching up to pull down a coconut. "I'll get 'im!" And with that he threw the coconut at the mouse.
Unfortunately, the coconut missed the mouse and hit the elephant on the head. "OW!" Screamed the elephant.
The mouse looked up from his labours and shouted: "Yeah, fuckin' take it baby!!